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Further Complications - Of A Happy Sort




Good Gosh, what a week!Ernst came rushing to the Laboratory this morning. Quite breathlessly he told me "Master, wot it is is wot Fluffy has had her din din and de other men is at the gate".While I wouldn't say I was nonplussed, I certainly wasn't completely plussed either. I really do detest interruptions when I am at work, particularly as just at that moment I had inserted the turnip into the Cold Fusion Apparatus, and was looking forward to some interesting results.At the Main Door, I found our butler in somewhat heated discussion with two chaps wearing natty suits and sunglasses.What was even more unusual was that they both suffered from the same infirmity, which caused them to raise their arms when they spoke. It looked to the casual observer as if they were talking to their cuff links!They seemed innocent enough chappies (even if they were wearing sunglasses in Ireland!) so I naturally invited them in for a few pints of Guinness, and a cup of tea and a scone.Over refreshments the whole story gradually became clear.It would seem that that young O'Bama fellow (from Foreign) had heard about E II's impending visit, and had decided it would be super if he could come along as well. He has his people contact OEIG, who informed them that it would be better to contact me personally, as they have little input into our affairs - and so these four emissaries were dispatched.Munching happily on their scones, they told me they were (are) members of the Secret Service and had come to inspect our security!Ernst butted in, in a rare flash of perspicacity, "wot it is wot yiz are not so sekrit if i nose you".I have to admit to being just the tiddliest bit miffed, and was forced to add -

  • "No invitation has, as yet, been issued, so this is a little premature
  • "NOBODY checks my security
  • "I see you have met Fluffy
  • "Yes, I would be delighted to have Him stay
  • "Does He eat Coddle?
  • "There can't really be a funeral - Fluffy eats bones and all
  • "Security will be dealt with by my own staff, thank you very much*
  • "Do either of you know anything about the correlation between turnips and Cold Fusion?
  • "Would you like another scone, and a pint?"

After a most convivial visit the two chaps departed, and I informed Her Ladyship of developments.You, Dear Reader, can imagine what a spanner this threw into the delicate workings of my research timetable!I can't stay here nattering, must away to the Laboratory and try to get some work done.Fond regards,Ruaidhrí* Note to self: Remember to inform Ghost Plane and Griz of this, and ask them to make the necessary arrangements.Remember to buy new banjo strings (a seisiún will be almost mandatory)Remember to contact Philip re New Hat for Her Ladyship



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Ruaidhrí Jnr


Snr has forgotten an earlier incident which happened earlier.Snr and Missus Snr were kindly invited to a do of sorts by Jnr and Missus Jnr.The evening was a success until it wasn't.Laughed? we nearly cried especially Missus Snr"but why you ask?""had another "invention" gone slightly awry?, Had Ernst once again left the Port out in the sunlight? Had Fluffy found the key to the bike shed?"No twas evener worst then that.On the way to aforementioned do of sorts Snr and Missus Snr stopped for a T.A cup of T not a "I'll have a T please Bob"In between the T and meeting Jnr and Missus Jnr, Missus Snr decided to prove Snr wrong by proving that a 2 week correspondence course does not constitute Full Para Training.To further prove her point Missus Snr with no thought of her own safety trun herself down a flight of stairs. (The stairs are still intact)And so to the results, 1. Missus Snr is relaxing with her foot up (no, not there)2. Missus Snr was proved right, a 2 week correspondence course does not constitute Full Para Training.3. Jnr can drive under extreme conditionsAnd the lesson to be learnt from the results?Proving Snr wrong although sometimes worthwhile can prove dangerous.Jnr

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This is the sort of utter tosh I am subjected to on a regular basis :angry:The Murphy Towers Distance Learning Institute's publication on Parachute Training for Novices * is beyond reproach, and has become one of the standard texts in the field!While I have some small measure of sympathy for Her Ladyship, I have to emphasise that She completely disregarded my advice (not for the first time!) to TUCK AND ROLL.As to the "Results" quoted:

  1. Yes
  2. No
  3. Jnr driving actually constitutes "extreme conditions"

Regards,Ruaidhrí* Only €475 inc, P&P from MT Publications, elegantly bound in leather look calfinoleum, which will grace any bookshelf. Copies still available.

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Snr, Jnr & Missus...a family story of the Publication veracity...surer to making the entrusting to purchaser!

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